Friends? Not...

This entree was not written in a whimp of fansy, but rather as a way to to express my feelings, one of the few ways that i can. You can take it as part of the previous story or u can read it on its own... either way, enjoy...

Friends? Not...

“Friends?” he asked, his eyes looking at me earnestly.

I swallowed the hysterical laugh that threatened to erupt and nodded my head mutely. Friends…

He smiled then, for the first time that morning and said, “you know, its better this way, after all, you wouldn’t want to rush things right?”

He was right; of course, we were in high school, that vital period before entering into collage. Any mistakes now could practically cost us the rest of our lives. That doesn’t make it any easier, doesn’t make that cold hard claw around my chest ease a little. I still felt like choking and I was desperate to flee from him – to flee from him so that he couldn’t see my tears.

Oh how ironic! Moments ago I was yearning to finally be alone with him, to open my heart to him and finally release the burden that has held me captive for the past two months. I had it all planned out, how to approach him… how to keep that tone just right- not too serious but not too light either- how to make him see me in a whole new light. But even before I spoke he already knew. And now, I want nothing more than to be as far away from him as possible, which is impossibility already, what with my heart being filled by him and all.

His sweet scent washed over me, threatening to weaken the iron walls of my will. I could feel the tightness around my eyes, the sourness in my nose, the huge hole where my heart used to be.

He could tell that I was about to cry – he knew me so well – and reached out towards me, trying I suppose, to comfort me. But then he faltered half way through… and his arms returned to hang awkwardly at his side. I smiled, a bitter smile, more of a grimace than a smile, and whispered “thanks Nick.” Then I turned and walked away. He didn’t follow.

Bye … I’m going to miss you.

The thing was that I knew that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I knew that he didn’t feel the same way as I do, but I had to try… no matter how painful it is I had to try, because well, if I didn’t I will regret it for the rest of my life. I knew and had braced myself for the disappointment, but the intensity of it when it came shocked me. It came out of nowhere, a blow to my gut, so strong that for a moment I couldn’t breathe…

The dull ache continue to throb somewhere deep inside even as most of the actual pain wore off, following me as I went about the day as well as I could, flaring up only when he came too close. Now, even as I type this, it’s making it presence known, carving itself into my very flesh.

Friends… Will it ever be enough ?




I might continue on this or I might not... we'll see. Thanks for reading! :)

Love, that's all it is

This is pyro again... short story... not really a story but a slightly modified version of real life exp. Enjoy XD.

Love, That's All It Is

Love is so simple. Love is just that: love.

The dictionary’s definition of love is this: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. And that is exactly what it is, yet it is also so much more.

It is silent and invisible. It is small and insignificant, but when it comes into your life, it is brings with it big changes and big happenings. The great city of Troy fell because of it. It can’t get any bigger than that.

But for most people, all those earth-shaking changes occur inside, deep down, where only they themselves can feel it. A shy girl may suddenly put down her books and approach the guy she likes with a hesitant smile on her face. A guy who practically lived on the soccer field may just change out of his jerseys and take the girl he likes to a movie. No one told them what to do. No one went up to them and forced them to deviate from their usual behaviour, all that happened was that they fell in love.


And so it happened to me. High school had just started and everybody was as confused and lonely as I was – the perfect opportunity to make friends. I was by nature a quiet and shy person, a person who is very much internalised and as usual, I was sitting alone at a table designed for two. Home room in the morning was a mess, what with the students streaming in, the teachers shouting for order and the chit-chat of the girls. After checking in my attendance, I turned my attention to my book and sat there, enjoying my novel until the bell for first period rung.

Straight after home room was Literature, a subject that very few of my class mates took. Nervously, I began looking at the name list, filled with information about all our subject combinations, hoping to find a fellow literature student. Just as I was about to give up and go on by myself, my eyes caught at a name: Nicholas Jonathan Fieze, I read, only realising that I had spoken out loud when a dark head shot up and looked directly at me. Our eyes met of their own accord and I found myself looking into a pair of intense, dark eyes, set beneath a wide forehead and perched above a strong nose ridge. His head was neatly trimmed and his shoulders wide.

Then, I blinked and the moment was gone. He was still there however, looking at me quizzically. I gave him a wide smile and mouthed the word “literature”. He caught on immediately and returned my grin with a smile on his own, nodding his head to my unspoken question. Excited at the prospect of making a new friend, I quickly gathered my things and off we went to a lesson that I was never to forget.

Little did I know that it was the start of a whole new love story…